im gonna be fucked.
Took a bunch of laxatives like 2 hours ago but I’m still eating. Why? Not because I’m hungry or having a binge moment, but because I’m so messed up in the head that I want to be fucked up. Some thing in my twisted little mind is telling me that I need to be punished therefore I need to make sure that I’m in as much pain as possible. I’m still amazed at how crazy I’ve become but I’m not the least bit scared.
Day8 (30 Days of Weight Loss)
“What is your workout routine?”
When I get home from school, I go to the gym and do whatever I feel like that day. Lately it’s been an hour on the treadmill, both running and walking, then, half an hour on the elliptical. Sometimes I do cycle and powerflex class.
After work I do various random workout sequences and some weights in my room and by then it’s like 12AM so I go to bed.
Day 7 (30 Days of Weight Loss)
“Do your parents know that you are trying to lose weight? Do they care?”
My dad is not really in my life in such detail, like I talk to him and stuff but not about anything like that because I don’t live with him. My mom knows that I’m trying to lose weight but she doesn’t know the extent to which I’m trying to do it. She doesn’t care that I’m trying to lose weight because she knows I’m fat so she thinks it is a good idea. If she knew how I was losing weight though, she would be sad.
